Part 4: Breaking the Psychological Chains: A Sustainable Path to Serenity, Happiness and Fulfillment for Targeted Individuals- Becoming Someone You Can Respect
The Rebuild Part IV: Respect Plus Sustainable Happiness
Opening Note – Why Respect Comes First
Before happiness can take root, there must be respect.
Not the public kind — not applause — but the kind that speaks when the room is empty.
Happiness drifts; respect anchors. Without that anchor, every good day floats away.
We need to become comfortable in our own skins. We need to be comfortable with who we are, but we’re held responsible by our conscience. When we hit below our aim, we lose respect for ourselves — little by little, incrementally, so that we don’t notice it.
Think of someone you know. You see them in a certain light because experience has defined them to you. Over time they can redefine themselves to you by displaying consistent behaviors. We can do that with ourselves — and we need to.
1 · Behavior → Evidence → Identity
You learn who you are by watching what you do.
Each act is a line in a private ledger. The record doesn’t lie, even when memory does.
When your actions line up with your stated values, the mind quiets. The guilt quells.
Constant affirmation is no longer needed when there’s data.
You can’t think your way into integrity; you behave your way there.
Keep promises. Finish small things. Speak truthfully, even in solitude.
The nervous system relaxes when it recognizes its own evidence.
The prescribed course is to become people we can respect via repetition of acts we can respect. We convince ourselves over time that we are this new person — because we are that new person after a time of consistent new behavior. This transformation is absolutely something we can do; people do it every day, and it’s necessary if we are to succeed.
And to succeed we need to lay out new behavioral patterns and follow them. Simply put: do the right thing. The self-respect is worth it. As I’m known to say, “the juice is worth the squeeze.” This is where our efforts should go. And doing the right thing comes with a good feeling: nature helps us along here.
We can actually use the circumstances of the program to become better people. We can respond in a fashion that leads us to an improved state that we likely wouldn’t have arrived at without the targeting. The same is true of those who seek help through 12-step programs. As I’m also known to say, “Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is the worst thing that can happen to us.” Our reaction is up to us — an ending unwritten.
2 · Respect Protocols
Targeting breeds self-doubt. Protocols rebuild self-trust in controlled, verifiable steps. They provide irrefutable evidence for when emotions are turned against us. They’re our definition of ourselves, crafted by us, expressed in action form.
The transformation is a process, not an event, and it’s never done to perfection. We will always be in a state of imperfection, and we have to be comfortable with that fact. The effort to do the right thing always provides a clear conscience — it is our reward. The richest of men would give their bottom dollar for serenity, for inner peace. We can achieve it at the cost of belief and some work. We need to.
Maybe we can fool others, but fooling ourselves can be more difficult — and more dangerous. Honest self-assessment is needed before change can occur. In order to know what needs work regarding ourselves, we need to observe and find out. It’s time for an honest inventory.
Humility is necessary at this step. Humbleness — humility — is the palatable way to serve the jagged pill that is the leveling of ego. If we don’t do it ourselves, others will — probably in public — at which point it’s referred to as humiliation, a much rougher delivery of the adjustment. Better to take care of it ourselves.
A regular schedule can be impossible for TIs. I haven’t had one in years, for example. I never know when I’ll be allowed to sleep, allowed to wake, what state I’ll be in, etc. I learned to stop making commitments for the most part, but there are times when it can’t be avoided. In those moments we do what we can, recognize appointments may need to be rescheduled, and take the lifestyle in a knowing fashion — not allowing ourselves to be surprised or put off by what we know has a very good chance of happening.
So we must take what we can get. Celebrate that gift. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Look for the good in the day. Practice the suggestions made in this series every day. It’s that or a guaranteed miserable life that only gets worse.
3 · Happiness Protocols
It’s a material world we live in. True happiness is not found in money or possessions or anything of the sort — as mentioned earlier, it’s an inside job.
Happiness comes on its own when we become people we can respect. A sense of belonging also hitches a ride, along with a feeling of contentment. What I’m speaking of here is sustainable happiness — happiness that can be recreated daily.
God is the source of this happiness, and He bestows it when we obey Him. We have inner moral compasses — pay attention to them.
Perhaps you already do. Since none of us are saints though we can all benefit from honest assessment and determine if we need to work on our character more. Chances are we will find areas that require attention.
We need to completely drop the idea of us being victims. That direction has no payoff and only makes us miserable. The perps will perpetrate, but we don’t need to volunteer our happiness and serenity as well. Let’s instead see ourselves as the remarkably strong that can drive through torture and designed hardships and come out the better for it. We are badasses.
Taking our lives as they are and finding happiness is what we have been challenged with.
4 · Authenticity as Armor
When behavior and belief align, external manipulation loses grip. You find yourself standing up straighter, looking others in the eye, having more confidence — and best of all, it’s honest.
Turns out there is something to conventional wisdom in many cases, and modern methods are often unhealthy. I find a stripped-down, Spartan lifestyle to fit me best. It means fewer complications, fewer pressure points for the perps, and less in the way between God and me.
It’s rarely simple living in today’s world, though, so the suggestion is to simplify as much as possible.
God created us, and He loves us dearly. We have divinity inside us in the form of God in our hearts. We can set out to rewrite our lives with God as co-pilot. Again, it takes time to completely realize — and due to the targeting at the very least it will remain a process.
Closing Reflection
You’ll notice the change in yourself. You’ll be calmer, more authoritative. Life will appear to arrive more orderly. It’s a process many have made in their lives, and Targeted Individuals can too. We must. Though it’s a slow transformation, you will experience realities you never have before.
You’ll have confidence where you used to doubt. You’ll find yourself to be more functional as a human being — more able to love and be loved, more able to handle the slings and arrows life launches at us. The evidence will say it for you, to you.
Happiness is not given; it’s grown. It’s recognized.
Respect is not declared; it’s demonstrated.
That’s the quiet revolution: becoming someone you no longer have to explain to yourself. This is winning the Game of Life.
Originally posted to WordPress on 10/08/2025
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